Besides my ranting blog (this one), this is my baby and what my soul would look like in picture form.
When my husband died, because he was so famous and known for not being a believer, many people would come up to me — it still sometimes happens — and ask me if Carl changed at the end and converted to a belief in an afterlife. They also frequently ask me if I think I will see him again. Carl faced his death with unflagging courage and never sought refuge in illusions. The tragedy was that we knew we would never see each other again. I don’t ever expect to be reunited with Carl. But, the great thing is that when we were together, for nearly twenty years, we lived with a vivid appreciation of how brief and precious life is. We never trivialized the meaning of death by pretending it was anything other than a final parting. Every single moment that we were alive and we were together was miraculous — not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural. We knew we were beneficiaries of chance… That pure chance could be so generous and so kind… That we could find each other, as Carl wrote so beautifully in Cosmos, you know, in the vastness of space; the immensity of time… That we could be together for twenty years. That is something which sustains me & it’s much more meaningful…
The way he treated me and the way I treated him, the way we took care of each other and our family, while he lived. That is so much more important than the idea I will see him someday. I don’t think I’ll ever see Carl again. But I saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful."
- Ann Druyan, talking about her husband Carl Sagan.
Like most people, I always wondered what will happen to us when we die. But unlike most people, I’m ok with not knowing. If I could chose, I think I’d want to turn into a star. A star that could see the infinite number of planets and galaxies and other worlds and what they held. A start to look back into the eyes of all the other people and know they are wondering what’s out there, just as I did. A star among trillons; never alone. A start that could just gaze down and watch life unfold until the end of time.
I haven’t been on here in almost a whole year… I’m glad to have my own little thought-space back, cause I need it a lot lately. I wish I would have been here more often to document this past year, but life gets in the way.